the convol from the Atty

Well as of today I got a letter from the Att0rny.I called,and he wanted a list of what all Brandon has here at home.I had stated that he really had nothing here,aside from the car.That we built together.Well a few days after we arrived back from Dover I had the car put in my name ..Because the truck didn't work all the time.Anyways, while I was in Dover for his landing; I had asked that no matter what the Will says; Please let me keep the car.And I was told ok.Now back to the topic.I guess I was not suppose to get the car in my name.So now not only am I fighting for what should have gone to my kids and I,but I have to fight to keep the one thing of his,that the kids and I have.Its not right in any manner .I have gotten maybe 2-3 emails from his mother.Last she had told me is that she knows more about what was going on in our marrage then I did and wanted to respect his wishes,Which I have not a problem with that at all .However I had asked; if you do know about that,then let me see the will. So I know what his wishes were.I was told she didnt want to share the will to avoid anymore conflict hahah lot of good it did . So as of now we're at this stand still .Really the only ones that have talked to me is his dad and sisters and aunt on his dads side.I will not say I'm heartless at all, but its hard to forgive the nasty deeds being done from someone thats in the same boat as your self.Why is it you can see all the nasty things about people when something this bad happens?I have tried stay the same way maybe even more open then before.But I mean really how can you do that? Now I see that only my friends and I have been there for the kids in this situation.Yet its my kids who are hurting way more then anyone else that has ever known Brandon.I dread the day my kids ask me "Mom why dont we have anything of dads,but pictures". What am I suppose to say to that?How can I be honest about this without bashing anyones name?When they ask "Why did someone else get everything?" I guess all I can say to that, is daddy didnt get a chance to right a wrong.I have never lied to my kids but this is one lie that I might have to tell. Only because I would rather have my kids be upset with me for a brief moment in time, then to have them hate anyone else who is involved in this situation.I feel its the best way for now, until they get older and the truth comes out as it always does.Either way at some point they will know.Yes my husband and I may have had problems in our marrage,but what wife and husband don't.Dispite all that, we were working on it.Not only to better ourselves as individuals but as a unit, and to make life better then how Brandon and I had growing up.Now that he is gone we'll have to move on, yes we cry alot and now we wont even have a shirt to smell,a guitar to play as a way to remember him.Much less the car that my kids could look back on and say,.me, my mom and dad started this and now we will finish it.I mean really peopel what the heck do I do with this?Where do I go?It seems that the only ones that care anything about this is the people that have viewed and follow us on this blog.Dare I say aside from my mother and brother and a few friends here, yall are the ones helping me with the sneeky underhanded selfish shady stuff being done to a good family that will be forever in pain.I mean not only did we loose a big part of the family that my kids will never forget.If they are anything like me,then I pray that they have a kind heart and can say I forgive you for the wrongs you have done .I look at my baby's everyday, and tell them daddy loves them and daddy is proud .When were driving my 3 year old says "MOMMY I SEE DADDY" and hes smiling. I tell her that he smiling because your so pretty and hes so proud of you .I teared up not good while driving .But you know what maybe he is,I don't know. I do know he never intended to hurt us this way.i know the babys were his life, and thats all that mattered.The pain from my kids hearts destroys me a lil bit everyday. Because I cant take that pain away.Yes I am strong. I have to be for them and myself because at the end of the day its them and I, the family that he left behind.